MONTREAL, QC — Baseball fans exploded in excitement after archduke Coderre revealed he will be demolishing McGill’s downtown campus to make room for a much more respectable institution: the Montreal Expos.
McGill University, probably the city’s fourth- or fifth-best university, was founded in 1821 by the royal decree of King George IV. Counted among its alumni are 12 Nobel laureates, 140 Rhodes Scholars, three astronauts, three prime ministers, and not a single professional baseball player in the whole damn lot.
“Bout de viarge! Des ostie de tête carrée! How many obnoxious poli sci majors does our city really need?”
McGill principal Suzanne Fortier asked her students to find a silver lining in the situation. Unfortunately, silver linings are hard to come by in Laval, where McGill’s replacement campus will be built.